Um. I just wrote a lot of words about my psycho freak out yesterday, but it's probably not something you want to hear about and mostly I just needed to put some things into words to try to work it out.
Suffice it to say:
1) I'm going through a phase where it seems like everything I do is messed up. In the past month I've been rear-ended, backed into someone, cut and bruised myself in amazingly imaginative ways, dropped and broken things, burnt things, lost things, etc, etc, etc.... The planets are mis-aligned, surely.
2) The dogs are frustrating me beyond reason and after talking to Russell about it we are going to make a concerted effort to spend more active time with them in hopes of alleviating that frustration. If that doesn't work, we may look into rehoming them. We got up at the ass-crack of dawn this morning to take them for a walk, and that actually was really nice. It was great for us to be able to spend more time together and talk, too. I miss that.
3) My dream job is turning into a nightmare (I'm actually a little sick to my stomach right now thinking of going back in, and yesterday I very nearly threw up thinking of it...long story), but I've decided to stick it out for a bit longer to see if things get better. I think I can last through the Holiday Rush at least, and not let them down and keep some $$ rolling in so we can take care of some bills and have Holidays ourselves.
4) Russell is the most amazing person ever in the whole world to just listen to my ranting and raving and not flee screaming from the house in a fit of terror. I was appallingly weepy, needy, bitchy, and hurtful last night, and he stuck by me through it all, just listening and letting me know that he wants to help in any way he can. I'm not sure I would have done the same in his position (I was that horrible). I'm so lucky to have a friend/partner like him.
5) I'm feeling much better right now, but still dreading work. I have to leave here in about an hour. Middle shift, and I'm going to do my damndest to get out of there ON TIME tonight. I still don't know my schedule for tomorrow or next week, which puts the Tauren in me right up against the precipice of insanity, but I'll find out today AND get paid, so perhaps it will all turn out okay.
So there you go. A more concise rant than the original one. Fewer sordid details. Trust me when I tell you, you don't want to know.
1 comment:
working retail during the holidays suck. plain and simple. if you can make it through you should be golden. maybe by that time too your schedule can settle down and you can get two days off in a row. my josie has been driving me up the wall here, but i think that's because now that it is winter like weather she's not getting out as often (although i just got off the phone with kev and he took her on a hike since it is pretty here today).
good luck with all that is on your plate right now!
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